Cuffed
by LadyAnalyn
Summary: During a trip to a magic shop, Jack and Ianto get handcuffed together and they have to figure out the "trick" to getting them off by morning or they will have to pay for them. Will they be able to handle being stuck together and what exactly is the trick? Are there perhaps "magic" words involved? One-shot


**This is a one-shot I finished some time ago and I thought I would share it with you. I hope you like it.**

**Oh and I guess there are bits that count as "Gwen bashing" depending on your definition. I can't seem to help it.**

* * *

Ianto put a hand on Jack's thigh, "Jack, can we make a quick stop before we go back to the Hub?"

"Sure, where to?" Jack would never admit it, but he loved delaying going back to that hole in the ground for as long as possible.

"A toy shop: If I don't get my nephew a birthday present, Rhi will have my guts for garters."

Jack chuckled, "I am so glad I don't have a sister."

"Be very grateful. I'd like to go to Merlyn's Wonders. David's gotten into magic tricks and they have the best selection."

"I know," Jack grinned. "I love their trick cuffs."

Ianto rolled his eyes but they sparkled, "I'm not surprised."

…

Once in the shop's magic section, Ianto tsked disapprovingly at the trick handcuffs Jack had picked up, "Somehow I think my sister wouldn't want David to have those. He'd handcuff his little sister and keep her that way. No, I think I'll get him this kit, it has a trick wand, cards, handkerchief and hat."

"Uncle knows best," Jack pinched his arse, "but I'm buying these because I haven't seen this kind before, we'll try them later."

Ianto arched an eyebrow at him, "What's wrong with real handcuffs?"

Jack held the box under Ianto's nose, "Real ones don't have a surprise when the trick is done right."

Ianto sighed, gave him a look that said 'you're so cute' and then said, "It's your money," he took his choice up to the counter.

"It's always good to see you, Mr Jones," the elderly proprietor said to him, "you've made your decision then?"

"Yes, it's for my nephew. It's good to see you too, Mr Merlyn."

"I'm sure he'll enjoy it. That will be ten pounds even. Would you like it wrapped?"

Ianto handed over the money, "No thank you, I'll take care of it myself."

"Wow, a whole ten pounds," Jack said with sarcasm, "you must be their favourite uncle."

"As a matter of fact, I am. David will get a twenty in his birthday card."

Mr Merlyn put the kit in a sack, "Here you go, Mr Jones and who is your friend? I don't think I've seen him in here before."

Ianto took the sack and stepped back, "Mr Merlyn this is, Jack Harkness. We work together."

Jack set the trick handcuffs on the counter, "Nice to finally meet you Mr Merlyn. I've only ever seen Ms Viv behind the counter."

"Oh yes, she covers my days off. I couldn't ask for a more loyal assistant," Mr Merlyn picked up the box, "ah, these are very special handcuffs, excellent choice Captain." He nodded to Jack's stripes.

"Thank you, how much will that be?"

Mr Merlyn smiled in a secretive way, "Tell you what, I'll give you a trial run. If you can get the trick to work by opening time tomorrow, they're yours."

Jack grinned, "I always love a challenge. How do they work?"

Mr Merlyn removed the cuffs from the box and came around the counter, "I need two volunteers."

Jack grabbed Ianto's wrist, "Two volunteers right here, Mr Merlyn."

Ianto tried to tug his wrist free, "I'm really not sure that's such a good idea."

"Come on, Ianto, it'll be fun."

Mr Merlyn's eyes twinkled, "Indeed, Mr Jones, you'll enjoy yourself."

Ianto sighed, "Very well."

And Mr Merlyn handcuffed Jack's right hand to Ianto's left. "There we are."

"Now what?" Jack asked.

"Now I must ask you to go, I must close up."

"But how do you get them off?"

"Why captain, we made a deal; you must figure that out yourself. If you can't get them off by nine tomorrow morning, come back here and I will remove them."

Ianto's jaw dropped open and he pulled at the cuffs but they seemed to be stronger than they looked, "You mean we have to stay like this for almost a whole day?"

"I'm quite confidant you two can work it out," he ushered them out the door.

"Wait," Jack said, "can't you at least change sides? I can't drive with my right hand cuffed, this isn't America."

"I'm terribly sorry but I must fetch my rabbit from the vet's." Mr Merlyn locked the door and scurried off.

"Is he always like this?" Jack asked.

Ianto shrugged, "I have heard stories."

Jack held out the car keys, "Unless you want to hang out the window, I guess you get to drive."

"There's got to be a way to get them off."

"We'll figure it out at the Hub. It won't be so bad Ianto, we're together all the time anyway; being handcuffed shouldn't be difficult."

"Why are you in such a good mood?"

"Why are you in such a bad one?"

Ianto took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Jack, I just planned to clean my flat tonight. It's been awhile since I've been able to."

Jack put his free hand on Ianto's shoulder, "Tell you what, if we're still cuffed later, we'll go to your flat and I'll help you clean."

Hinder more like, Ianto thought but he nodded anyway, "All right." He took the key from Jack, "we'll never hear the end of this from Owen, you know."

"I know."

The drive back to the Hub was filled Ianto continually saying, "Jack, will you keep still, I need both my hands."

At one point Jack replied, "I can drive with one hand."

"Well you shouldn't," Ianto snapped back.

"Will you relax already? You're so tense."

…

They entered the Hub via the lift and immediately drew attention.

Gwen stared up at them wide eyed, "Are you two handcuffed?"

Ianto bit back a sarcastic comment.

"How the bloody hell did that happen?" Owen asked.

They stepped off the lift and Jack said, "Mysterious old man named Merlyn did it, said we have to figure out how to get them off."

"Why did you let him handcuff you?" Gwen asked.

"I never turn down a challenge. We'll take a look in a minute, first I need to pee. Ianto, if you'll join me?"

"I don't reckon I have much of a choice."

Once in the bathroom Ianto jerked his left arm and Jack's right up, "You don't need both hands for that do you?"

"What's the matter, Ianto?" Jack smirked, "You've touched the mini captain before."

"Not while it was peeing."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that, what do you think of…?"

"No, absolutely not Jack."

"Oh, why not? You might enjoy it."

"No, not only do I find the idea of golden showers disgusting, I would feel like you were marking your territory and I am not your territory. By the way, if it's golden then the person hasn't been drinking enough water."

Jack rolled his eyes, "You've seen the mini captain, yes I need both my hands to aim right. You want me to aim right, don't you?" he jerked his right arm down. "No one's forcing you to look."

"It's not _that _big," Ianto muttered.

As long as they were in there Ianto made use of the toilet too while trying to pretend that Jack wasn't literally breathing down his neck. "Jack," he said as they left the bathroom, "what if we get a rift alert or something before we get them off?"

"We just got back from one and we usually only get one a day if at all."

"Key word there, usually." Ianto sighed and stopped Jack before they went down the stairs and whispered, "We probably should have sent Owen and Gwen out on that one this morning."

"It was our turn, why?"

"You're supposed to go to Flat Holm today and the others will talk if we're both out of the Hub at the same time again."

"I think it's time for your afternoon coffee, Ianto, you're being a little slow. We're handcuffed, they won't mind. Besides I'm sure we'll get them off by then. Come on."

…

Tosh examined the cuffs, "There isn't a lock on them that I can see."

"We can just cut them off." Gwen suggested, "it's not like one of you will blow up."

"No way," Jack said, "if we break them then I'll have to buy them. No, Ianto and I will figure this out properly even if it kills us."

Ianto stared at him, "Speak for yourself, Captain."

Owen brought up a bone saw from his lab, "Jack, will your hand grow back if we cut it off?"

Jack scooted away from him, "I really don't like that gleam in your eye. I've made my decision, we're going to do this, we probably just have to put the right amount of pressure on them or something like a Chinese finger trap. Besides, you know Ianto hates cleaning up blood." Jack, pulling Ianto with him started to move away from the group, "just carry on with your tasks everyone. To my office, Ianto."

"Would you like some coffee first, sir?"

It took only a second for Jack to answer, "Lead the way."

Gwen followed them to the kitchen, "Who is this man who handcuffed you?"

"He owns Merlyn's Wonders," Jack answered.

"The toy shop? What were you doing there?"

Ianto sighed, "My nephew's birthday is next week."

"You have a nephew?"

Jack put a hand on Ianto's shoulder, "Gwen, don't ask Ianto anymore questions till he's had his afternoon coffee."

"Well, do you want me to go find this Merlyn and question him?"

Jack's eyebrows shot up, "Are you kidding? They're just trick cuffs, Gwen. Why are you freaking?"

"I was thinking there could be an ulterior motive or…"

"Why do you see suspicion in everything?"

"I do not."

"Seems like it sometimes. Now, don't you have a report to do?" there was finality in Jack's tone, indicating to anyone who knew Jack that the discussion was over.

And yet Gwen persisted, "But…"

"Gwen, that report was supposed to be on my desk two days ago. I'm getting real tired of letting you slide."

Gwen held up her hands, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry." She left the kitchen.

"I think it's time for your coffee too," Ianto said after a moment of silence.

"What gives you that idea?"

"You never take that tone with her."

Jack sighed, "Maybe I should start. You're the only one who doesn't question me."

"I trust you. Now, move with me and don't touch anything if you want your coffee."

For once Jack did as he was told but it was still awkward to move about in the tiny kitchen; they kept stepping on each other's feet.

"All right, Jack, you hold the tray and I'll pass out the drinks and then we have half an hour before we have to leave for the island."

Jack nodded, "Check."

After handing out the coffees, Jack and Ianto went to Jack's office to drink theirs. They sat down on the couch.

"Jack, how long do you plan on staying cuffed before we earnestly try to get them off?"

"We'll figure it out on the way to Flat Holm, I wanted an excuse to bring you anyway. Helen wants to talk about renovations."

…

"Where are you two going?" Gwen asked as Jack and Ianto headed for the cog door.

Jack sighed, "Do I need to announce when I leave my own house? It's not your concern. Now, if anyone needs anything while Ianto's gone, you'll just have to get it yourself, high time you learn how." He pulled Ianto out of the Hub without another word.

"Are you okay?" Ianto asked once they reached the tourist shop.

"You know, you're the only one who doesn't ask me questions I don't want to answer. Why is that?"

Ianto looked into his eyes, "I know you don't like to be pushed, Jack. I like what I see," he put a hand on Jack's collar. "I don't have to know what I don't see. Besides, I know that if you need me to know something, you'll tell me."

Jack kissed him, "Thank you Ianto, I appreciate it."

"No thanks necessary, Jack, I understand; there are things I don't like to talk about either."

"You don't like to talk."

"Exactly, now," Ianto checked his watch—which was right next to Jack's watch—"we must be going. How about that? Our watches are precisely in time with each other."

Before stepping onto the boat Jack and Ianto tried various levels of pressure on the chain and bracelets to no avail.

Jack sighed, "Nothing for it, we'll try later. All aboard."

Ernie, the boatman gave them an odd look but as per his contract he didn't ask questions. The cuffed pair didn't bother with the life vests because they knew they wouldn't be able to get them on—they rarely wore them anyway. Both Jack and Ianto were strong swimmers; Ianto had swum the English Channel once, Jack had done it three times but who keeps count?

They stood at the railing on the way to the island and about halfway there Ianto said, "Maybe it's the handcuffs."

"What is?" Jack asked.

"This is going to sound weird but the old man's name is Merlyn, maybe they're magic."

Jack stared at him, "I am not prepared to consider that possibility. Besides, the wizard's name is spelled with an 'I' isn't it?"

"He could be using a y to throw people off the scent."

"What's with you?"

"I'm sorry Jack; as long as the explanation isn't alien I'll be happy. I could use a break."

"I'm sure it's not but what made you think of magic?"

"Well, it could explain why you snapped at Gwen when you don't usually. Owen seems to think you treat her better than rest of us."

Jack rolled his eyes, "His opinion, I like to think I treat you better. You get to sleep with me after all."

"I know. Owen is uneducated."

"Would you like me to educate him?"

"Nah, let him suffer. But back to the handcuffs, I think there is something odd about them because I feel compelled to be honest about things I'd really rather not tell you."

Jack arched an eyebrow, "What would you rather not tell me?"

"It's silly," Ianto seemed to find the water below more interesting.

Jack put his hand over Ianto's, "You can tell me."

"You won't get mad?"

"I won't get mad."

"Okay but I warned you. Now, this makes me sound childish and jealous but…" he took a breath, "I don't like the way Gwen looks at you. I know I shouldn't be because I know we're not in that kind of relationship where I can be jealous but…"

Jack put a finger to Ianto's lips and smiled, "There is no reason for you to be jealous but I'm flattered that you are," he gave him a peck on the lips, "it means you still want me. Most people stop wanting me once they find out what I am."

"I'll never stop wanting you, Jack. I worry about when you stop wanting me."

"What makes you think I'll stop wanting you?"

"I won't be young forever."

Jack looked into his deep blue eyes, "You will to me."

They held the gaze for a moment and then looked down at their clasped hands. They were still handcuffed.

"Damn," Jack breathed at the same time Ianto swore in Welsh.

Ianto said, "You were hoping the tender moment would work too, weren't you?"

"I am not prepared to admit that."

"That was pretty much admitting it."

"Oh look, we're about to dock."

…

Helen's eyes widened upon seeing them, "My goodness, Captain, Mr Jones, why are you wearing handcuffs?"

Jack sighed, "It's a long story Helen, you wanted to talk renovations?"

"Yes, the south wall needs repairs."

"Lead the way. Take notes, Ianto."

The south wall was weakening, a couple of the rooms had leaky ceilings in rain, the furnace was acting up and the plumping was outdated. Ianto took diligent notes, he could have easily remembered all that but he wrote it down to be safe. Mind, he had a feeling Jack wasn't happy about his right arm hanging in air the whole time—Ianto needed his left to hold the note pad.

"I'll talk to a contractor," Ianto told Helen, "and then give you a call to discuss the options."

"Don't worry, Helen, Ianto will take care of things."

"Thank you, gentlemen, so much. Would you like to see how the latest patients are doing?"

"Not today, Helen, Ianto and I have got to get to a locksmith."

"Of course, of course, thank you for coming. I'll walk you out."

…

"Are we really going to a locksmith?" Ianto asked once they were back on the boat.

"What for? There's no place for a key," Jack held up their hands, "besides, we make a pretty good team. We haven't had many issues being handcuffed, I think we'll be all right till tomorrow."

"Let's avoid eating fibre then, some bodily functions should remain private."

"You really need to stop being so damn modest, Ianto."

"I thought you found my modesty endearing."

"Only most of the time, this is not one of them. There shouldn't be modesty between lovers."

"Is that what we are?"

"It's not like we play Monopoly when we're alone."

Ianto changed the subject, "It's almost sunset. Should we get something to eat on the way back to the Hub?"

"Nah, let's order in."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

"Oh, did you still want to go to your flat?"

"If you don't mind, the fridge needs sorted out."

"It'll be fun."

…

"Still cuffed, huh?" Owen said when they got back to the Hub.

"We've decided to have fun with it," Jack responded, "we work well together."

"Where did you go?" Gwen asked.

It was Ianto who answered, "A romantic harbour cruise, is that a problem?"

Jack laughed, "How's the rift looking tonight, Tosh?"

"All quiet."

"Good, then you three can take off."

"Fine by me," Owen took off his lab coat and put on his jacket, he didn't need telling twice.

"Are you sure?" Gwen hesitated while reaching for her handbag.

"Yes, go on, go to dinner with Rhys or something."

"Okay."

"You too, Tosh, scoot."

"All right," Tosh shut down her station.

…

"It was kind of romantic," Jack said once the others had gone.

"Maybe slightly," Ianto sighed. "Jack, please don't be angry at me for saying this but I think if you told her to, Gwen would leave Rhys in an instant. And there I go again saying something I didn't plan on telling you."

"It's okay. You're right," Jack sighed heavily, "I know. But she does love Rhys, mostly. I admit one of the reasons I hired her was because I was attracted to her, looks and tenacity. But, I don't think she and I would work as a couple; we'd probably kill each other after a while. And she asks too many questions."

"She doesn't trust you."

"I don't think she does, not fully anyway."

"The gap in her teeth annoys me."

Jack laughed, "You know, it kind of turns me on, you expressing your opinion."

"What sounds good for dinner?"

"Mexican food."

"Absolutely not."

Jack grinned, "Okay, well cheese stops me up, how about you?"

"Pizza it is."

"The Hub will be all right, let's eat at your place."

"Okay, but we have to feed Myfanwy first."

"And just so you know, there's nothing wrong with wiping our asses using our…"

Ianto covered his ears, causing Jack's hand to whack him in the face "I don't want to hear it."

"Free hands," Jack finished "I use my left anyway, but I guess you do too which is why you're freaking out."

…

They ordered the pizza once they were at Ianto's and while they waited Ianto insisted they get started on cleaning the fridge. But as he predicted Jack was more of a hindrance than a help.

"Oh screw it," Ianto dumped the expired milk down the sink, "I'll finish up after we get these ruddy things off."

"I promise I'll be good."

Ianto rolled his eyes and then kissed him, "Truth be told, Jack I can think of much better things I'd rather be doing while handcuffed to you."

Jack grinned, "Now you're talking my language."

The doorbell rang.

Ianto ran a finger underneath one of Jack's braces, "I guess it won't be too much of a problem to keep our shirts on. Dinner first though, I'm starved."

…

One pizza, two beers, and three orgasms later they were still handcuffed.

"This is getting aggravating," Ianto muttered. "How in the hell are we supposed to get these motherfuckers off?"

Jack stared at him, "Such language, Ianto."

Ianto sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, Jack. I guess I'm just tired."

Jack cuddled up to him as best he could with their conjoined arms, "Let's get some sleep. We still have plenty of time to figure it out before I have to pay for them."

…

Ianto's alarm went off at 5:30 the next morning and he was still handcuffed to Jack.

Jack groaned, "Why, why in the name of all that's good and holy in this world does your alarm sound like a fucking jackhammer?" it was very rare for Jack to swear so Ianto quickly leaned over and shut the alarm off.

"It gets me out of bed," he said.

Jack sighed "I suppose we should do that. How long do we have till the shop opens?"

"Three and a half hours."

"You know what? I'm about ready to just pay for the damn things."

"Tell me about it. You want to go into Hub before we admit defeat?"

"May as well."

They buttoned their shirts and put their trousers back on. And feeling in a generous mood, Ianto let Jack use his toothbrush. "We swap more than spit," he said as Jack brushed his teeth "I really shouldn't be bothered by sharing a toothbrush."

Jack grinned and mouth still full of foamy paste, kissed him. "So, you won't mind if I took a…"

Ianto sighed and spit into the sink "Go ahead but I'm not going to watch you."

A few minutes later found Jack and Ianto in the kitchen, Ianto making coffee to get them going for the day.

Jack stood behind him and rested his head on Ianto's shoulder, "I ever tell you how lucky I feel to have met you?"

Ianto leaned against him, "No, I don't believe you have."

"Well I am," Jack kissed his ear.

"Thank you for giving me another chance."

"I'm glad I did, would have missed out on so much if I hadn't."

"Mhmm, coffee's ready. You want some breakfast?"

"Let's pick something up on the way to the Hub."

…

At eight, just as the others were getting in Jack and Ianto decided they couldn't take it anymore. They'd go to Merlyn's Wonders and wait for the old man to show up.

"Why again did you agree to this, cariad?"

Ianto's use of the Welsh endearment surprised Jack and it took a moment for him to answer, "Didn't we already discuss this? I like a challenge. Besides, we handled it all right didn't we?"

"True," Ianto conceded "there's no one I'd rather be stuck with than you."

Jack smiled "Right back at you." Jack held both Ianto's hands, "I'm really glad we made it this far."

Ianto blinked "This far in what?"

"In our relationship."

"Oh," Ianto's eyes were bright, "we've never really talked about it before."

"No, we haven't and we should start." Jack took a breath "Being handcuffed this past night has told me how much I love being with you and how much you mean to me."

A tear trickled down Ianto's cheek, "It told me that too, Jack. You're the only one I want to be with."

Jack was teary eyed himself "And you're the only one I want, Ianto. I miss you when we're apart. I want to wake up next to you every day. Ianto, what I'm saying and what I should say because I mean it is I love you."

The light in Ianto's eyes could have kept Europe running for a week and he smiled, "I love you too, Jack, so much."

They kissed softly at first and then passionately.

The sound of clapping brought them both back to Earth. Merlyn was there smiling them "Congratulations," the old man said "you worked it out and with two minutes to spare."

Jack and Ianto looked down at their wrists, the cuffs were gone. And after that, they only had eyes for each other. Maybe there was something to this magic thing after all.

End.

* * *

**As for who Merlyn really is, that's just going to have to remain a mystery because this is going to remain a one-shot.**

**Supportive reviews are magic.**

**TTFN**


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